i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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