lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
