so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
