bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
