i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
