I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
