'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
