he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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