I'm jealous of your bromance
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
