when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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