So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
