Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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