There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Are we in a gay sports bar?
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
