: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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