Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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