I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
