she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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