im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
The police scanner is talking about you again....
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
