On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
