Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
It all started with a game of naked twister.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
