Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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