How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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