around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
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