There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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