Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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