Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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