he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
My dick has a subreddit
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
