girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
