He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
