Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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