Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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