Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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