Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
