dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
