despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
