I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
