Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
