I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
