Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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