i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
