I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You ruined the universe
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
