STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
