Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
