I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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