when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
