Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
