you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I love you. Go after that dick
Damn victory sex feels great
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
