worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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