windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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