That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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